An unsolicited pervert at a bar told my friend he wanted to fuck her, and while he was fucking her, wanted a Crown Royal bag wrapped around his balls. On a recent, separate occasion, I was gifted a Crown Royal bag, and, seeing it around my house, I kept remembering the story. Disgust drove me to sculpting these castrated pervert’s balls, and now they’re handed over to my friend in their own Crown Royal bag. May you ash all of your smoldering joints on his balls for eternity.